I thought a change would be good, but i feel more comfortable in wordpress blogs, so I'm moving mine to a new site: http://archinodaily.wordpress.com/
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Coming back home ...
I knew I would do this, I would start my diary blog, post one entry, then nothing …
But it isn't the reason why I didn't write anything, I feel like I don't have a life to talk about here, since 1st July, I've traveled -as a summer vacation- to KSA, the country is nice but it's just not for me!
So my life became as dull as you can imagine, I don't do a lot of activities and I don't want to anyway, I miss my friends, I miss my car, I miss my room, I miss my job *surprised*, I miss a lot of things, and maybe it's this feeling that kept me from getting the best out of my days here, I've pressed 'pause' to my life and in about 36 hours I'll press 'Play', I just hope it will be worth watching for a change!
I don't say I didn't have even a little fun! I did, mostly with my family, which was refreshing, usually I don't go out with my sister much and these days I'm kinda stuck with her *lol* , I get to know my 14 years old brother a little better, since I haven't been seeing him much with the crowded daily life we all have. And above all spending sometime with my father :), my uncle also lives here and with his three little girls I said goodbye to quietness and serenity *ugh*, lol.
But this vacation was different, I feel new, not myself ! Mostly in a good way, Now I have new interests, new -hopefully good- view of life and new gained weight, lol.
I've decided that what people think of me is not my concern anymore, I will be myself with out thinking of the consequences or who will like me and who won't! Life is too short to be suppressed by all these expectations that people have for us, like If I said I don't like the holidays! … Why, honey? Don't say that in front of anyone we know! They might think you are depressive and joyless, holidays are fun!! Something must be wrong with you! Or something like this: I don't like this place, it's too noisy … ha! You must do that, don't you? We all want to go there to have some fun and you have to sit like someone you love died, you are too selfish!
What's wrong with hating the holidays or not wanting to be in a noisy places all the time!!!!
A little rant before I press 'Play', can't wait to be home.
But it isn't the reason why I didn't write anything, I feel like I don't have a life to talk about here, since 1st July, I've traveled -as a summer vacation- to KSA, the country is nice but it's just not for me!
So my life became as dull as you can imagine, I don't do a lot of activities and I don't want to anyway, I miss my friends, I miss my car, I miss my room, I miss my job *surprised*, I miss a lot of things, and maybe it's this feeling that kept me from getting the best out of my days here, I've pressed 'pause' to my life and in about 36 hours I'll press 'Play', I just hope it will be worth watching for a change!
I don't say I didn't have even a little fun! I did, mostly with my family, which was refreshing, usually I don't go out with my sister much and these days I'm kinda stuck with her *lol* , I get to know my 14 years old brother a little better, since I haven't been seeing him much with the crowded daily life we all have. And above all spending sometime with my father :), my uncle also lives here and with his three little girls I said goodbye to quietness and serenity *ugh*, lol.
But this vacation was different, I feel new, not myself ! Mostly in a good way, Now I have new interests, new -hopefully good- view of life and new gained weight, lol.
I've decided that what people think of me is not my concern anymore, I will be myself with out thinking of the consequences or who will like me and who won't! Life is too short to be suppressed by all these expectations that people have for us, like If I said I don't like the holidays! … Why, honey? Don't say that in front of anyone we know! They might think you are depressive and joyless, holidays are fun!! Something must be wrong with you! Or something like this: I don't like this place, it's too noisy … ha! You must do that, don't you? We all want to go there to have some fun and you have to sit like someone you love died, you are too selfish!
What's wrong with hating the holidays or not wanting to be in a noisy places all the time!!!!
A little rant before I press 'Play', can't wait to be home.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Out of place … Out of time
I am reading ‘The Time Traveler’s Wife’ and it seems such an appealing idea to be able to travel through time like that!
To travel through time instead of lingering in my lame present, to the Future where I’ll see that every thing turns out to be just what I hoped it’d be, to see my self happy, I mean really HAPPY like I’ve never been before … in my perfect apartment with two little happy ,healthy kids running around the dinning table, looking exactly like their father, like my kind ,sensitive ,understating, supporting and gorgeous husband.
Then I’ll go to my past to laugh really hard on my ridiculous excuses for being unhappy! For suffering over things that seemed to be important at that time! I won’t change anything, I’ll let my self suffer like I did knowing that all of this will lead to my perfect future, any change may mess up my new life!
I’ll see my self making mistakes, hurting and get hurt, crying, suffering, getting angry over nothing, waste my time wandering around thinking I don’t deserve it, I’ll see my self afraid to take big ,risky steps that can really make me happy and go with the safe option instead, I’ll see my self wasting all my magic moments never knowing it even existed never realizing I wasted the best times of my life doing stupid stuff then regret it seconds later, but do I do something to stop it! No … I’ll let it be, a few more years of this and I’ll make it up for myself, and what’s better than happiness that came after a long time of being sad! It’s the Best!
I’ll have the best future anyone can possibly imagine, knowing then better, I’ll know that I deserve it, I deserve the happiness that I felt impossible to have, I’ll have my soul mate, my perfect companion, my lost compatible peace of puzzle.
He’ll be my everything …
My past, my future … My autumn, my spring … My husband, my friend … My mentor, my lost soul, my ever after happy ending, my eternal sunshine.
My beautiful summer’s night meadow, The best husband anybody could dream of, The perfect painting by the hands of a talented artist, The best peace of music I’ve ever heard, The perfect poem anybody ever wrote.
I know it’s a little too personal to post it here! I’ve never done something like that before, I’ve never even shared this dream, just parts of it, but I didn’t think much writing down these thoughts! I just did!
But after I’ve done it I think it’s a good idea to put my dream out there where I can find it in 2, 5 ,10 years! Whatever time it’ll take to make it there ,to my perfect world-to-be. To realize that I made it, I once dreamed of this life and I now have it!!
To write it down when I still feel the life is fair enough to give me my dreams, when my world still hanging in a happy place, before my suffers and worries grow bigger and scarier!
So excuse me for dreaming! But I’ll do it again! I’ll dream and I’ll have my dreams real soon!
I believe, I have my faith in GOD ,in fate, in fairness of life, in the happy endings, in the eternal happiness, in the earthly paradise, in my own version of Utopia .
To travel through time instead of lingering in my lame present, to the Future where I’ll see that every thing turns out to be just what I hoped it’d be, to see my self happy, I mean really HAPPY like I’ve never been before … in my perfect apartment with two little happy ,healthy kids running around the dinning table, looking exactly like their father, like my kind ,sensitive ,understating, supporting and gorgeous husband.
Then I’ll go to my past to laugh really hard on my ridiculous excuses for being unhappy! For suffering over things that seemed to be important at that time! I won’t change anything, I’ll let my self suffer like I did knowing that all of this will lead to my perfect future, any change may mess up my new life!
I’ll see my self making mistakes, hurting and get hurt, crying, suffering, getting angry over nothing, waste my time wandering around thinking I don’t deserve it, I’ll see my self afraid to take big ,risky steps that can really make me happy and go with the safe option instead, I’ll see my self wasting all my magic moments never knowing it even existed never realizing I wasted the best times of my life doing stupid stuff then regret it seconds later, but do I do something to stop it! No … I’ll let it be, a few more years of this and I’ll make it up for myself, and what’s better than happiness that came after a long time of being sad! It’s the Best!
I’ll have the best future anyone can possibly imagine, knowing then better, I’ll know that I deserve it, I deserve the happiness that I felt impossible to have, I’ll have my soul mate, my perfect companion, my lost compatible peace of puzzle.
He’ll be my everything …
My past, my future … My autumn, my spring … My husband, my friend … My mentor, my lost soul, my ever after happy ending, my eternal sunshine.
My beautiful summer’s night meadow, The best husband anybody could dream of, The perfect painting by the hands of a talented artist, The best peace of music I’ve ever heard, The perfect poem anybody ever wrote.
I know it’s a little too personal to post it here! I’ve never done something like that before, I’ve never even shared this dream, just parts of it, but I didn’t think much writing down these thoughts! I just did!
But after I’ve done it I think it’s a good idea to put my dream out there where I can find it in 2, 5 ,10 years! Whatever time it’ll take to make it there ,to my perfect world-to-be. To realize that I made it, I once dreamed of this life and I now have it!!
To write it down when I still feel the life is fair enough to give me my dreams, when my world still hanging in a happy place, before my suffers and worries grow bigger and scarier!
So excuse me for dreaming! But I’ll do it again! I’ll dream and I’ll have my dreams real soon!
I believe, I have my faith in GOD ,in fate, in fairness of life, in the happy endings, in the eternal happiness, in the earthly paradise, in my own version of Utopia .
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
